No, I didn’t know that I would!
I’m not feeling fantastic, but i’m feeling pretty damn good right now. Since my pain level is a LOT lower, it seems that my medicine has nowhere to go but bouncing through my head. It sure as hell beats the throbbing bloody mess I was last night (and all day yesterday).
This morning I woke up with a murky blood puddle on my pillow and still feeling pretty yucky, luckily for me i’d already arrnaged for my neighbor to come help me out during the morning/day, and my brother in the afternoon. Lifting Holden felt like I was going to pop a stitch- the last thing I want next to dry sockets (look them up.. because going into detail makes me cringe, severely).
My neighbor/friend Karma shows up at around… 9:20 this morning. I’m in the middle of trying to (unsuccessfuly) make breakfast for Holden in my groggy state. I had a whipped yogurt… disgusting and tasty at the same time. It sort of reminded me of funky cheesecake that had been left out and refrigerated for too long.
Karma is awesome at taking care of me, but watching her get the crap beat out of her by Holden was pretty hilarious. Icing on the cake was when it was potty time, and watching her try and deal with baby peep. She has a 6 year old girl, not much experience with penis in the child area. She was so creeped out by having to touch it to tuck it into the potty that Holden ended up peeing at her.. and all over the floor in the bathroom. I laughed hysterically.. and then tried not to laugh because it hurt to do so. And of course, her name being Karma.. I got bit in the ass a few minutes later when Holden ran away without his diaper on and then used the couch as a urinal. I will never understand how he has so much pee in him!
By the time Holden’s 12:45 nap rolled around, he wasn’t the only one who passed out. Karma was so exhausted from chasing him around and playing with him and making sure he wasn’t freaking out after falling on his face that she couldn’t keep her eyes open. There are a lot of days where I pass out when Holden does too, but it made me feel good to know that he really IS tiring and it isn’t just me. Then there’s this part of me that thinks that babies release some kind of endorphin like turkey when they sleep that instantly makes you konk out. Happens to Thomas all the time.
Once my brother showed up, Karma went home to take a real nap. Bless his heart, but he didn’t help me all that much. I ended up making all 3 of us lunch. He did take Holden to the potty and got a pee out of him.. without getting any on the floor. Even without a ton of help, Holden LOVES the shit out of my brother.. so all the attention was on him and not mommy for once.
The best part about getting teeth removed other than the drugs? The fact that I got to eat comfort foods all day. Icecream after breakfast, chicken noodle soup for lunch, and mac & cheese plus mashed potatoes with gravy for dinner and not having to feel even the tiniest bit guilty about it.
Some final LOLs for you.. I posted the picture of my broken tooth on a message board I frequent (the Tucker Max Message board if you’re really that curious) and here are some comments I got:
It’s funny ’cause it’s true.
Oh, and can anyone tell me if the stitches in my mouth are dissolvable or if at my post-op appointment i’m going to get them ripped from my gums? Ugh. Not looking forward to that.
Dear people writing articles on ways to get siblings to get along, I'll save you the time. The answer is "Don't let them play together"
Please stop Complimenting my kids’ “Good” Behavior goo.gl/fb/rwfojS
Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.