Do not pass go, Do not collect $200

Let’s go ahead and get the bad news out of the way: we were turned down for a home loan this morning. And not just a simple ‘no’, but more like a ‘HELL NO YOU BUNCHA CRAZIES!’

Apparently, in order to qualify for the First-Time-Homebuyers-Loan here in good ol’ Virginia, you can only have one outstanding charge on your credit report (only one thing in collections). Thomas and I have two… a piece.
This might sound mean, but it wasn’t shocking that Thomas has outstanding charges. We already knew about one of them.. which urks me to even think about.
Thomas used to have Cox Cable in his name when he lived at his Mom’s house. His creepy pervert of a step-father (if you really want to call him that) decided it would be a fantastic to charge $1200 worth of porn to the account and NEVER pay Thomas for it. $1200 is a lot of money.. especially for a college student, so it just never got paid and has been in collection ever since. Ridiculous. He won’t confront his mother about the whole thing.. Though I guess technically it isn’t her fault- it’s still her husband and a reason we can’t get a home loan, and a reason for me to be super pissed off. So there’s our one allowable outstanding charge right there.

The second is totally ludicrous. Thomas had a loan through his bank which he PAID OFF and closed the account.. so he thought. Apparently his bank didn’t close the account and started charging him interest on nothing, which accumulated up to $150.. And they refuse to let him out of it. Even though it’s THEIR fault for not closing the account when he paid the stupid thing off. While it’s totally unfair there’s nothing we can do but suck it up and pay it.. we really don’t have the money to do so, unless it comes from my savings which is slowly shrinking to nothing.

As far as outstanding charges for me? INSANE. I don’t really HAVE bills. My car was paid for in cash up front. I have never had a credit card. When I didn’t have insurance, I paid all of my bills in full before even leaving the office.. Yet somehow I have TWO outstanding charges in collection from Sentara (medical).

The good news?

Meh, if you can consider this good news I guess. I am positive both of the claims against me are completely bogus.
Thomas started researching one of them from right away. Immediately something didn’t seem right. One charge was from 2002, citing an address I have NEVER used as a home address. it was somewhere I stayed for a few months while saving up a downpayment for my own apartment. Also, in 2002 I was in highschool.. so any medical charges should have been covered by my parents’ insurance. And it was for an X-Ray. The only X-Ray I have had in the past TEN years is the one on my mouth.. last week!!!
Upon hearing that from me, Thomas gets the number of the hospital and calls them and asks them what the hell the charge was for to see if it was legit, and they tell him they have no records for 2002, that he needs to call another number to speak to the people who handle all of that stuff. So he calls them, and guess what they said? I don’t exist. They have NO record of me ever being treated there. Not for my maiden name, married name, social security number.. nothin. Basically meaning I was right, and that the charge is totally BOGUS.
How the hell does that happen? How does something get sent to collections by a company that has NO record of me ever being there??
By the time he called back the credit people to inform them of the mistake, they had left for the damn weekend. Grrrrr.

The second charge, we have no idea what it is for. The only thing I can think of is when I had a chest infection a few months before getting pregnant and went to an urgent-care, who I think is part of Sentara. BUT (and this is a big but), I know for a fact ALL of those bills were paid in full the day of treatment, because my Dad paid them in order to get a discount. YAY, they give you a discount if you pay up front!
Why they think I owe them money (if i’m correct about where the charge is coming from) is beyond me.. but obviously these people are total idiots.

So what’s good about this? It should only cost maybe 200 dollars total to clear this crap off of our credit reports and get us pre-qualified for a home loan. UGH!

This whole thing is beyond ridiculous to me. I understand the lenders not wanting people with a history of crap-ass credit to get a house through them… but we don’t have bad credit! None of this crap is our fault. They don’t care about that obviously, it’s under our names and is technically our responsibility.
Screw responisiblity! I want out of this shit hole!!

In other good news? After fighting with Holden all day about potty time (he kept grunting like he wanted to poop.. i’d stick him on the potty, he wouldn’t go.. and was a huge waste of a fresh diaper because he’d decided to pee in EVERY SINGLE ONE), he finally started pushing. I gave him a strange look and said “what? are you trying to poop?” and he RAN to the bathroom door and started whining. I put him on the potty and he let loose the BIGGEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN. I’m not even kidding. I don’t know HOW he managed to get it out of his tiny little butthole. It was the size of a can, and there were TWO of them. And we won’t even talk about the smell.

I, on the other hand, did not poop all day. YAY! My butt is very happy.

AND, lastly, my mouth doesn’t feel like it just got sucker punched. It’s still not incredibly pleasant to eat, but it’s definitely much easier than it was a few days ago.

Oh, and it’s around 60 degrees out. I hate the cold, so I am pleased.

That’s my day in a nutshell. Don’t you wish you were me?

Posted on December 19, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • That kind of stuff needs to be taken care of anyway. The longer it’s on there, the worse it probably looks!

    Since D’s bro is off work for a little bit, maybe he should remind him to call the credit bureaus about the mix-up with their credit reports!

    It really doesn’t make any sense that a company with no record of you could send a bill in your name to collections. WEIRD.

  • you mean the PORN bill? trust me I know!!! I don’t honestly think Thomas will EVER get the money for it. grrrrrrrrrr

    credit reports can all suck my ass!!!