You named your baby WHAT?!?

No matter how much you love the name you’re about to give your crotch-rocket, there will always be naysayers. Not everyone is going to love the name that you’ve fallen in love with.. and unfortunately they are incredibly vocal about it. To the point where it gets offensive.

Thomas and I knew from the start we didn’t want a ‘run of the mill’ ho-hum baby name. We wanted something different. Not necessarily a name you’d never heard before- but one that isn’t used so often that when he’s sitting in class and attendance is being called.. 5 other kids raise their hand at the same time.
We both have traditional, boring names. Thomas Michael.. zzzzzzz, Virginia Gail, super zzzz.
Not only is my name boring- but it’s the STATE I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN (and still live in today), so you can imagine the ridicule I received from booger-picking little hellions in school. Thanks Mom & Dad!!
Avoiding ridicule was another important factor.. but somehow kids will always find a way to tease you based on your name. That’s just the way it goes. That doesn’t mean you should name your kid Chlamydia because you ‘think it’s pretty’, or some of these HORRID names I keep hearing in the news where the courts have to step in to change the child’s name (what was it?? Zoola Does The Hula or some ridiculous shit?). Don’t even get me started on celebrity baby names (cough.. Pilot Inspektor.. cough).

It took us a LONG time to come up with a middle name for Holden.. we finally decided on Milo. We both instantly knew that was the name we wanted him to have- and while most of my friends told me they loved it (emphasis on, TOLD ME, who knows what they really think), I certainly did not expect my Dad’s negative reaction when we told him the name..

“It sucks, change it”

Thanks for the support, Dad! Your name is Bruce David.. My brother’s name is Bruce Frederick.. Sorry- but none of that appeals to me. Like I said, ho-hum boring. Those are kind of what I consider ‘dying names’- the ones no one uses anymore because.. well.. they’re old-timey and ugly.
I didn’t let his reaction change my mind whatsoever, but it definitely got under my skin. Didn’t his mother (my grandmother) teach him ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’?? Maybe he’s finally reached that age where he doesn’t realize what is appropriate and what is inappropriate to say anymore.
After a while, I started to revel in the fact that he disliked my soon-to-be child’s name. It became fun to know that he just couldn’t stand it. Maybe i’m just a glass-half-full kinda gal.

Sure, there are plenty of baby names i’ve heard that I just think are absolutely horrid- but as long as you aren’t naming your kid “ButtFart Turdy McTurdburglar”, “Chiquita”, or the ever popular “Chlamydia”, i’m not going to say anything to stop you.
Your best idea is to just not tell anyone what you’re naming your kid so they don’t have a chance to tell you how much it sucks and ruin the name for you (it’s happened to a few ladies I know). As much as you’d like to share in your excitement of naming your kid “Abarella”, or “Babe” for short- other people may not feel close to the same way about it.

I’m currently revelling in the fact that my Dad is absolutely going to HATE our next child’s name (assuming it’s a girl), and since he’ll be thinking it’s a totally different name up until birth- he won’t be able to say a DAMN thing about it. (cue evil laugh) Gotta love defiancy.

Posted on November 5, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden



  • HAH! Turdy McTurdburglar.

    I never really cared what anyone said about Holden’s name, I liked it, you liked it, so that’s what mattered. Holden will eventually like it, if he doesn’t already. I also like the prospect name of the future (hopeful) daughter, it’s unique and pretty much no one has it.

    There are too many people that attempt to be negative in this day and age. I think this might be because our lives have become more stressful all in all. Frustration will get the best of people.

    Let’s name some kid Pubemound Flatus, that might catch us some flak.

  • Oh yeah it’s not a simple task to think of a nice name for baby but don’t bother much about what other people might say as long as u & ur hubby love it! Have a nice day.

  • my family always pronounces my daughter’s name wrong. its “dear-dra” not “dee-dra”. plus we decided to use its original irish spelling and well that causes problems. but we both love her name and its meaning- so i just ignore people who raise their eyebrows. 🙂

  • eek- family pronouncing the name wrong would make my hair stand on end! I like her name though! All that really matters is that you do. Kids don’t appreciate their own names until they get older!

    With Holden we constantly get “Golden” and “Olden”
    c’mon now, would I REALLY name my kid OLDEN??