The Osbournes Version 2.0

Never have I considered myself what people would call a ‘traditional parent.’ Hell, I probably do and say things that would make Mary Poppins roll over in her make-believe grave (everyone’s a critic!) Thomas and I have always done things our own way, taking bits and pieces of what we like from what we’ve seen others do and applying it to our parenting style. So far, it’s worked out really well (in our opinions, and those that know us personally anyways).

There’s one thing that I think a lot of people might take issue with and that would be cursing. I know personally a lot of parents who don’t curse at ALL around their children- as to stop them from repeating the naughty 4-letter words in embarrassing situations.
Thomas and I are not those parents. It’s not a lack of self-control, it’s that we see the whole ‘potty mouth’ situation differently than other people.

Do I want to be washing Holden’s mouth out with soap for years? Of course not… but to me- never cursing around your child is sort of like never letting them eat ANYTHING with sugar in it. Once they discover this wonderful, off limits treasure- they crave it so badly just because they can’t have it.. and end up sitting in the closet stuffing their faces with candy and looking like Augustus Gloop from ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.’

Does this mean i’m going to over saturate Holden with filthy-words? Of course not! What it means is that i’d rather have him know what a ‘bad word’ is, and that it isn’t appropriate to say- then accidentally one day hearing me say “Oh shit!”, and instantly slapping my hand over my mouth- and then having Holden repeating it over and over for the rest of the day because it’s something new and intriguing and naughty. Bart Simpson syndrome. ‘Mommy made a big deal over this word.. I don’t know what it means but now i’m going to say it ALL THE TIME!’

Trust me, I know plenty of parents vehemently disagree with my stance here- and i’m okay with that. I’m not raising your kid, so you have nothing to worry about. I might even be setting myself up for disaster but I really don’t think so.

It’s sort of like when kids color all over the walls because they know it’s a no-no. It’s all about teaching right from wrong, good from bad, and instilling that in them at an early age. I never colored on the walls, because I knew it was wrong.. and because I just had no interest in it. I had paper, what do I need a wall for? That, and I didn’t want to get my bare ass spanked.

I remember watching the show “The Osbournes” and thinking.. how cool that their kids can speak openly and freely with them. While you may not think they’re the perfect example of parents given the family’s drug history (which I think has a lot more to do with fame than parenting)- it’s still a good example of a tight knit, open family.. which is exactly what I want.

They’re words, and the more value you GIVE them (ie; freaking out when you accidentally say fuck infront of your 2 year old)- the more they’re going to have. Treat them like any other word, and they lose value and become uninteresting.

Now, before the more conservative moms go into a total fit- let me clarify that I am NOT going to be teaching Holden curse words. That would just be ridiculous. It’s never fun to have your two year old walking around dropping F-bombs all over the place (although.. i’m pretty sure the first few times I will have to laugh)- but if I happen to go on a 4-letter word spree in front of him.. I definitely won’t be freaking out because of the ‘influence’ it might have on him.

I’m all about choosing my battles. Curse words? Meh. I’m more concerned that he’ll be pissing in his closet, or swinging the cats around by their tails.

Posted on November 25, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 6 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • I do agree. It’s similar to alcohol, and for lack of a less addictive drug, pot. Alcohol, in other countries for example, is not seen as something that is seen as a god awful sin. People must learn moderation and the differences between right and wrong. Those teenagers in their country openly drink with great deal more care than we do here. They aren’t so much into getting so totally bombed on a Saturday night that they can’t stand and have vomited in their hair. They can be drunk, just not shitfaced.

    Now imagine (keep in mind that I really dislike pot, I don’t do it) that pot is legal here in the lovely US. I guarantee that a lot more people wouldn’t do it.

    It’s the thrill of doing something wrong that keeps most people interested in doing a lot of things at all. I am talking about some clear examples for teenagers. Not to say that I will be giving Holden alcohol or pot to try and teach him moderation.

    I believe this will apply to cursing as well. If he learns that he shouldn’t be doing it, he will definitely want to do it more often.

  • I definitely agree! There’s something so silly about the concept of “bad words” anyway. Truly bad words are things that are mean and hateful and that’s what I would get mad at Emily about using (like she will be in deep if I hear a racial slur come out of her mouth besides just asking what it means). I am going to attempt to explain to her that they are like picking your nose or farting…okay to do at home, but don’t do it in school because people are verrrry picky about what is considered acceptable behavior there! lol

  • Couldn’t have said it better myself!

  • I’m one of those that doesn’t agree. Not completely anyway. Reason being-we’ve had this work out both ways in our family.

    My oldest sister has had issues with both of her kids saying curse words around the toddler age due to the fact that she and her husband have used them nonchalantly in their presence. I think she’s still working on getting her son to stop using them(he’s 3).

    D & I have opted to simply not use the words much. I typically only use them in anger anyway bc that’s how it was for me growing up. Dad would get angry and let a word slip and mom would chastise him for saying a dirty word in front of the kids! LOL This also coming from a woman who considers the word fart a dirty word! 😛

    On the other hand, my brother’s girl… You say a curse word and she will let you know it! “You’re not supposed to say that!” I think they have always been a little nonchalant about it but just let her know it wasn’t really appropriate public behaviour.

    Like you said, everyone chooses different parenting styles. This is just another way we’re different. Doesn’t mean we can’t be civil with eachother. Gosh, maybe I should’ve posted a comment blog in response to this? Sorry it got so long!! 🙂

  • when you use a word in anger- I think that gives it more value, KWIM?

    I always heard my Dad yell “GOD DAMN!”.. so I always wanted to say it. Knew it was bad, but said it when I was angry when I didn’t even know what it meant. I think I wanted to feel ‘bad’ and ‘powerful’

    my whole thing is not to give the words any value, but teach that they aren’t supposed to be used in certain situations, and not until they’re a certain age.
    My neighbor is the same way as your niece- so i’m hoping it goes in my favor that way.

    Maybe Holden will have fun telling people “YOU CANT SAY THAT!”.. I think that would be more fun than saying the actual word… as a kid anyways

  • Amen sista! LOL! I couldn’t agree more!