Just call me the Grinch. I really don’t enjoy the holidays.
I like giving gifts to people, when I actually have money. Receiving gifts is okay too… but for the past few years it’s been things like matching performance fleece, a purse I would never use because it’s just ugly, or a target gift card that I end up spending on Holden. I suppose I should just think that ‘it’s the thought that counts’- but it’s hard not to get disappointed that you’re in adulthood and the holidays don’t seem to hold the same joy they used to.
Thanksgiving seems to be cursed for me. Every year I get violently ill. One year it actually landed me in the ER after vomiting 30+ times and having the ER doctor tell me I was going to die. He was joking… I didn’t see the humor.
I honestly think it’s germy little kids putting their sticky fingers in all of the food and passing it on to me. They puke under the table during dinner, I puke once I get home. FUN!!
Last Thanksgiving Holden was only 2 months old, so really he just sat around in his bouncy chair and stared off into space… or cried- it alternated between the two. Now that he’s walking and falling flat on his face at least 10 times a day I was worried about him getting trampled by his fast unruly cousins, so Thomas and I made the executive decision to go to my Pop pop’s for Thanksgiving. Trading out the chance of Holden getting trampled for a two hour car ride (both ways) that he’ll most likely scream the whole way through… might just turn out to be an even trade. Had to pick the lesser of two evils I guess. Once we actually get there he should be alright, lots of room to run around- not as many other small children, and my Pop pop seriously knows how to cook a turkey. I spent every Thanksgiving (and Christmas for that matter) there growing up, so it will be nice to go back. Holden doesn’t get to see my Mom’s side of the family that often and he really likes them.. so hopefully it will work out well. Or.. he could scream the whole time. One never knows how Holden will react.
I guess on the positive side- Thomas has a four day weekend, so that means I get help chasing Holden around the house for those days. Yay me! We’ll inevitably get on eachothers nerves though, it’s unavoidable. And Holden doesn’t nap when Thomas is home… ugh, nevermind- it might not be a positive after all.
We can’t put up a Christmas tree because a) the cats will eat it and then puke it back up all over the house and b) Holden will eat it and… well.. puke it back up all over the house. He’d most likely pull it down ontop of himself too. So no decorations here.
I like buying him things, but he could honestly care less. He’s not old enough to really get into the holiday spirit. I guess that’s fine- because i’m NOT looking forward to the days where he’s begging me to buy him a $600 game system because ‘moooooommm everyone else has one!’.. or some ridiculous toy that he plays with once and gets bored of and ends up playing with the box instead.
To top it all off, Thomas has to work Christmas-Eve day.. and that is when my family has decided to have their Christmas get-together. I honestly can’t imagine celebrating Christmas without Thomas. Moreso, I can’t imagine being the one to chase Holden around all day.. having to lug his crap by myself to my Dad’s house, and even more crap home (most likely bath toys, even though Holden has more than he’ll ever play with- i’m going to put my money on that’s what is filling up his stocking).. I am just not excited. I’m actually dreading it.
To really put the icing on the cake that is the beginning of the holiday season- I got a call from my bank earlier tonight saying there were fraudulant charges on my debit card. Awesome! Someone tried to use my card to buy $100 worth of money to play Texas Hold’em. They didn’t even use a semi-believable name to do so. “Mod Mod”, c’mon now- be a little more creative than that! Thank God my bank had just sent out new debit cards with different numbers.. and I had yet to activate mine, so I don’t have to wait to have a debit card to use. That’s pure LUCK right there.
If it doesn’t snow and ice, I might be a little happier. More than anything I hate snow. I hate cold. I hate wind. I think I hate weather in general. Just let it be sunny and 70 constantly.
Is spring here yet??
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times