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With the Good comes the Bad

I get a lot more positive feedback than negative feedback on my blog entries, but like any normal person-the bad comments tend to be the ones that stick with me.

The most common misconception that comes with becoming a first time parent is that you have to completely change who you are or you aren’t a good parent. You can’t have friends, go out at night, drink, have the same sense of humor- and none of that is even remotely true.
Is it harder to do the things you did before having a child? Of course. You obviously have to make adjustments- but to change who you are is not only going to make you miserable, but don’t you want your kids to know the real you? I lost my mother as a teenager, and I can say I would have loved to have known more about her outside as her life as a mom.

You do not have to become a humorless stick in the mud to be a good parent, sure- dead baby jokes may not be funny anymore, but a sense of humor is incredibly important to being able to handle the every day stresses of taking care of a small child. For some reason in my year of being a mommy i’ve encountered quite a few people who think you (or should I say I) shouldn’t be able to joke about your kid, shouldn’t be able to vent.. shouldn’t be able to say anything that isn’t laced with sugar- including a few anonymous commenters here.

If you don’t think my blog is funny, if it isn’t your cup of tea- that’s your opinion and that’s fine.. but if you’d go as far as to call me a bad parent because I don’t sugarcoat parenthood then maybe you should sit down and figure out where you lost your sense of humor. Then go and read ‘Chicken Soup for the Humorless Soul’
No one’s forcing you to be here.

I find it baffling that some people can’t understand that a lot of what I write is laced with sarcasm.. is tongue-in-cheek.. even a dash of exaggeration thrown in there for the purpose of humor. If you don’t get that, you shouldn’t be here.

Being honest does not make me a bad parent, it does not make me a negative person. It makes me human. I see nothing wrong with talking about the rough part of being a parent and making it funny. As i’ve said before: anyone who claims their kid doesn’t at LEAST occasionally get on their nerves is a liar. Afraid to be labeled as a ‘bad parent’ because they don’t have the patience of a Saint.

I love Holden more than life itself but that doesn’t mean i’m going to lie and claim he doesn’t annoy me at times, isn’t whiny, never cries, or is the perfect angel child some people would like others to believe their child is. That wouldn’t be the truth, and if there is one thing I am, it’s honest.

If you can’t find the humor in what I write- that’s fine- but for those saying you ‘feel sorry for Holden’… I feel sorry for you- for you have completely missed the entire point of this blog.
We can love our children and still find them bratty at times, still have a sense of humor. We can love our children and still be honest about how frustrated we get with them. I pity anyone who feels like they can never vent about their children because of how they think it will make them seem to other people.

I’ll say it again- there is NOTHING wrong with venting, feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. You wanna call your kid a bratty turd? I won’t think any less of you.

Would you really want to read a blog full of
“my baby is soooo perfect. We had a perfect day! Butterflies and rainbows and sunshine!”
I wouldn’t. And if that’s what you’re looking for- there are about a billion mommy-blogs just like that for you to go and read and roll around in the sugary-sweetness. That ain’t me. And I would die of boredom writing it.
Could I? Sure. There are plenty of things that make me feel all warm and snuggly throughout the day that Holden does- but that’s not why I write this blog. This blog is meant to be HUMOROUS. It’s meant to be funny, it’s not meant to paint me as a perfect mother- I never claimed to be one.
I will never not be me. I will never take parenting so seriously that I lose everything that makes me me. I will always take the ‘negative’ and make it funny. I’ll always tell the brutally honest truth about babies and being a mom.

Don’t like it? Go somewhere else. Find your rainbow-shitting blog and stop reading mine. Don’t come here and think that you’re going to make me feel like a bad parent by leaving condescending anonymous comments (brave, lemme tell you). Don’t assume you know anything about what kind of parent I am from a blog that’s meant to be funny.
So I don’t write about the warm and fuzzies- that’s not what I like to write about. Get over it.

For those who may be single, in a relationship, preggo, mommies, daddies.. whatever, that read this blog and DO find it funny, DO get the humor, and come back for more? Even if you may not agree with everything I write, if it gives you a chuckle- thanks for reading. I hope I continue to give you laughs based on baby poop and leaky boobs.

Today Holden got hold of a bag of chips and spread them all over the carpet and mashed them while I was washing dishes. By the time I got to him, he had them smeared all over his face, into the carpet, on his clothes.. and just gave me this look of “I didn’t do it!” while shoving handfulls into his mouth.
Did I laugh? yep.
Am I gonna lie and say it wasn’t an obnoxious thing for him to do? Nope!

Evil chip-smearing turdy baby!

Posted on October 29, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden

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4 Comments

  • Great point. I am the father to the spawn. I know all about his constipation, irritation, my hesitation, frustration, and segregation (from others). There isn’t a moment in any of your blogs that make me think that you aren’t kidding (at least to some extent).

    Anon E Mouse (heh, get it?) people should probably try to take this blog a little less seriously and more as an entertainment aspect. It’s like Van Wilder said:

    “You shouldn’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.”

    Write that down.

  • I still think dead baby jokes are funny. But I am one of those “super bad parents” ;). I really enjoy your blog btw.

  • M to the ichelle October 30, 2008 at 11:02 am

    I don’t think that you are a bad parent in the least, but maybe you should paint Holden in a little bit of a better light. I’m sure he isn’t awful 100% of the time, Lol about the chips, that is a everyday thing around my house! Love your blog jenny.

  • I personally don’t think I paint Holden in a bad light.

    This blog isn’t about my every day life. I’m not here writing about “today we did this, today we did that”, if I did, not only would this blog be boring- but people would have a different idea of what kind of parent I am and what kind of child Holden is..
    but that’s not what I like to write about. I like to write about the funny things that happen, the bad things that happen.. things that come along with parenting- it’s not a direct interpretation of what kind of child Holden is and I think that is what people can’t get through their heads.

    Like I said, this blog isn’t sunshine and rainbows and if that’s what people are looking for they need to go elsewhere. They need to stop taking every single blog as me complaining about Holden, and see it more as funny little snippets of life with a little boy. SNIPPETS.