Like OH EM GEE you guys! Today was the most perfect day in all of perfection! My life is so totally perfect, you just wouldn’t believe it!
I woke up on this glorious morning to my angel child smiling at me. He is just the best baby ever!
he never EVER cries, he never whines.. he is just a ray of sunshine every single day!
I could not be happier, and life could not be more grand- lemme tell you!
Holden is all over the place, giggling and walking and eating things he shouldn’t be eating- throwing food.. but that’s okay, because I never ever get irritated or frustrated with him! I’m the best mom EVER y’all!
It helps that my baby is the BEST BABY IN THE WORLD! He is the perfect child! Oops, did I already say that? Let me say it again- HE IS SO PERFECT AND WELL BEHAVED!
I could just snuggle him into itty-bitty baby pieces! And then eat him! I bet he’d taste like cotton candy and rainbows! WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Was that as painful for you as it was for me??
I mean, seriously.. Who wants to read crap like that? It’s obviously exaggerated, no one’s that perfect and patient.
If all of my blogs were full of that sugary BS, would you come back and read every day?
Sure, maybe you got a giggle out of how ridiculous it was.. but it certainly doesn’t seem like a good read to me.
Maybe it’s because I like to laugh.. I don’t like to gloss over things because they might not be perfect and positive and pleasant. I like getting to the nitty-gritty. If I feel a certain way, I have no hesitance in sharing it.
If that makes me a bad parent… well, then.. I guess i’m just AWFUL aren’t I? I’m sure as hell not apologizing for what I write, partly because it’s how I feel and i’m not ashamed of it, and partly because it’s the TRUTH.
Reminds me of a famous line..
“YOU WANT THE TRUTH??? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”
Let’s face it, parenthood is a messy business. Why should I wrap it up nicely with a pretty little bow on top when that just isn’t how it really is? Why would anyone want me to? That doesn’t make any kind of logical sense.
For real y’all, if you can’t handle or don’t agree with what I write about- walk away… ‘Cause I sure as hell won’t be posting flowery-delusional-Britney Spears-like blogs any time in the future. And that’s a promise.
I've never had a near death experience, but I DID find 2 spiders in my house this morning, and that's pretty much the same thing.
If you like to be constantly criticized over your peanut butter to jelly ratio on sandwiches, being a parent is definitely for you.
It's called "Mom Tax" and it applies to ALL SWEETS OBTAINED BY CHILDREN pic.twitter.com/VExGwIOdBn
Live now on Twitch! Come hang out! twitch.tv/holdinholden
How I Unwind the Kids During Summertime goo.gl/fb/bqcdoV
Kid: When do I get the tablet back? Me: Thursday aftern--- Kid: *Yelling* I'LL NEVER GET IT BACK! Me: Okay, I guess never, then. #kidlogic
Being an adult is stupid. pic.twitter.com/ghkAP7UbIt
Me watching #AmericanNinjaWarrior: HAHA weak ass grip strength! Also me: Can't open a pickle jar.