Special… as in.. ‘Do you think he’s been eating paint chips?’
I have no issues with admitting Holden is a weird little kid, but some of the things he does makes me raise an eyebrow and give thought to the fact that he may one day be the child who sits in the back of the classroom eating chalk and banging his head on his desk.
Could it be another one of my many irrational fears? Probably… but if you have kids, can you honestly tell me you haven’t wondered the same thing from time to time?
Take the way he ‘dances’ for instance. Imagine Stevie Wonder playing the piano, swaying his head back and forth.. Then imagine a 1 year old doing that with a huge dopey grin on his face. It’s cute, and it makes me smile, but in the back of my head i’m thinking he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.
Do all toddlers eat weird things? Sure. Holden goes out of his way to eat lint off the floor.. to eat styrofoam peanuts out of a shipping box. If you kill a fly and it falls to the ground- he makes a bee-line for it (see that? I made a funny!). You can’t give him a book.. or he’ll tear it apart… with his mouth.
He licks shopping carts.. he licks people, he licks the sliding glass door and laughs about it. He also bites everything.. HARD.
He laughs at commercials that are NOT meant to be funny. Maybe he just has a terrible sense of humor- but I don’t think I could give birth to an un-funny stick in the mud without there being something terribly wrong.
His first non-baby word was BUNGHOLE. That’s right.. bunghole..
and no one in this house uses insults from the 90s. No clue where he got it from, but I think the fact that he calls random strangers at Wal-Mart “bunghole” is pretty telling in itself.
Maybe my kid is just strange… goofy..
but if he can eat flies, lint, paper and other random inanimate objects- he could definitely eat paint chips and turn into a drooling Stevie-Wonder dancing weirdo.
Just remember: calories don't count today. But just in case... wear stretchy pants. pic.twitter.com/vOCiF0YpEG
Being a parent makes you thankful for some weird shit holdinholden.com/2013/11/what…
My favorite part of Thanksgiving is the part where my kids whine about being hungry all day and then only eat mashed potatoes.
What you REALLY need to make Holiday (or ANY) Travel Bearable goo.gl/fb/1BdFtj
Other moms: I finished Christmas shopping for my kids in June! Me: pic.twitter.com/FT3tlWGWd2
@CJPendragon learn something new every day!
@WeberWriting Absolutely. It takes a bit of time and juggling but it is 100% doable. Just have to ignore the sanctimommies of the world
Don't feel bad for tossing frozen chicken strips in the oven and calling it dinner. Don't even feel bad if you don't turn them over. holdinholden.com/2016/05/shit…
To the piece of crap who broke into my car over the weekend- You think you found nothing of value to steal, but you actually took with you the nasty head cold my family has been passing around in that very vehicle for the past week. Enjoy, scumbag! xoxo, Germ Infested SUV