Err… or, Happy 1st Birthday Holden!
my kid is a year old… that makes ME feel old. Soon will be the days where he’s back-talking (more than he already does), running…
i’m most excited for the singing. My kid better be able to sing, it would be blasphemous for him not to have vocal talent.
I wish I had more poigniant things to write, but those all went Holden’s baby book. All I have left are the memories of blowing my crotch out
Person on tv: Age is just a number! 10yo: Yeah, a number that pulls you closer to death.
Party animal over here pic.twitter.com/OVpKPuu4Yc
Proving to my kids that they ARE Friends goo.gl/fb/QbSSNp
Writing my next book Me: My period inspired a whole new chapter! Husband: Your lack of period inspired a whole book... Me: pic.twitter.com/fpNHwnYeAF
The card my kid made me at school. I truly don't know why I expected anything different 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/T7nai0ycqS
Valentine's Day before 4pm and I'm already putting on pajamas because my uterus is bloated to the size of a Buick and erupting like Mount Vesuvius so I guess you could say I'm feeling PRETTY romantic.