Women have started using the term “Man Cold” so often these days that it almost seems like an urban legend. Is it real, or is it just something that’s been built up so much over time that it haunts all men once they start to sniffle?
As a woman who lives in a house filled with 3 of the male species (5 if you include one of the dogs and the a-hole bunny), I can tell you, it’s not a legend. BUT, this dark cloud known as the dreaded “man cold” does not affect all men. At least, not immediately. My dad is over 60 and has still yet to come down with this mysterious illness. I don’t know when my husband came down with it, but if he gets sick, it’s the end of the world.
My kids, though, I thought MAYBE, they were safe. The change, if it happens, is a slow spread much like the zombie apocalypse. It’s the MAN COLD APOCALYPSE. You think I’m being dramatic until you have to deal with it, take care of it, watch it fester, hope that it stops.
There’s really no way to avoid it if it finds itself creeping into the males in your home, but there are ways to notice it and possibly maybe kind of prepare yourself for the load of whiny bullshit you’re about to deal with. Maybe. A little. Okay, there’s no way to prepare, but at least you’ll know it’s coming and to stock up on the booze, and that’s pretty much the same thing, right?
You see, my boys had always been “good” sick kids… well, as good as a sick kid can be, anyway. They were sweet, and sleepy, and didn’t look at me like I snotted on their pillow and caused their sickness. The newly crowned 7 year old is STILL like that, and it’s glorious. He lays on the couch with a blanket, I pop on the Netflix, and he quietly watches, maybe even naps, until he’s feeling well enough to be back to his usual sassy self. It’s almost like a momcation. I praised the sweet cheezus for blessing me with a child who didn’t man-cold all over my house, since I already have a grown one of those. I took my periods with stride because I knew my uterus smiled on me for once by giving me “easy” kids, at least in one respect.
And then, one day, something changed. An evil strain of the dreaded man-cold invaded my house. I didn’t know, because it was a gradual process, but slowly, it possessed the once peacefully booger-filled 9 year old I knew and replaced him with… well… what I’m dealing with today. It’s like Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde, only with a lot more complaining.
It was hard to see the changes at first, because they were so gradual, but now that it’s full-blown OHMYFUCKINGGODJUSTGETWELLSOICANSENDYOUBACKTOSCHOOL status, I can now see what I missed these past months. I want to share this knowledge with you. KNOW THE SIGNS, PEOPLE!
How to tell if your child has developed a full-on MAN COLD:
If you’ve noticed any of the above, or anything that seems like the onset of them, HURRY! THERE’S STILL TIME! Get to the liquor store before it’s too late! Lock yourself in your room! Change your name! MOM doesn’t live here anymore!
I’m forever searching for the next spooky thing to watch on Netflix, especially with Halloween coming up in a few short weeks–and there’s always SO much to choose from it gets a little overwhelming trying to decide on a movie or whether or not to dive head first into a series. Some days I feel like I’m doing more searching than watching, but I’ve come across some serious gems for every level of horror enthusiast (from ‘absolutely wait until your children are in bed or they might be sleeping with you for the next twelve years’ to totally family friendly popcorn flicks) that I want to share with you!
For the adults:
The onset of Dementia, or something more? A team of doctors films the life of an older woman who is battling something that begins to seem like something far deeper than her supposed deterioration into dementia. This docustyle horror movie scared me more than anything I’ve watched in a LONG time.
Locked in a radio station, things on the outside of this bare-bones red-eye radio crew start to go crazy and leaves you wondering, is it zombies? Is it the end of the world? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
How far will some people go to make it into the movie business? This might just confirm rumors that stars sell their souls to the devil to be a star. Eep! (Note: Very dark, very bloody, very disturbing)
Creepy events that never seem to have anything to do with one another until they do. A man hears a strange noise coming from his ceiling that slowly drives him inside. A woman follows a stranger series of murders. How do they all fit together?? The first horror series I ever picked up on Netflix and not only did it creep me the hell out, it pulled me in. Where is season 2?
Everyone has been going on and on about this creepy technological series until I finally gave in, and I’m loving it and hating it at the same time. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING! Season 3 begins streaming on October 21st!
And now for some more family friendly titles- pop some popcorn and cuddle up on the couch (or kick the kids out of your spot and watch them anyway!)
Whether you love Jack Black or you can’t stand him (I personally love him!) Goosebumps is a FANTASTIC movie, and while the series might make me cringe, it’s tame, and my kids love it.
Tim Burton. Johnny Depp. Spooky ghosts, songs by Danny Elfman and claymation. You can’t really go wrong with that combo.
It’s classic, it’s funny, it’s perfect for Halloween!
I didn’t watch this with my kids, but I think it’s totally safe to watch. It’s suspenseful and creepy without gore or nightmares. It’s Norwegian “found footage” of documentary film-makers who find and follow a professional troll hunter into troll territory, and while the trolls are definitely creepy (and maybe a little cheesy)- it’ll make your heart race. I’d say age 10+ is good, but view it for yourself to be sure!
Okay, so it isn’t scary, but it’s full of monsters and creepy creatures, so it counts, right?
Stock your queue with this list & you’ll be set! Well, at least for a few binging sessions.
New on Netflix for Kids, Tweens, Teens and Families.
Sitting in a room full of women, which is super odd for me, I heard one of the fellow moms say something that actually resonated with me
She was talking about running out the door to get to whatever errand on no particular day and grabbing “the sweater”
What is the sweater, you might be wondering? The one you grab without a second thought and throw on to run out the door. it’s your go to, to toss on over pajamas so no one knows you’re wearing pajamas in the school drop off line. The one, where you aren’t quite sure when the last time you washed it is, but you don’t care because it’s comfortable.
No, she didn’t say any of those things, but I know that’s what she meant, and I knew because I HAVE ONE!
That got me thinking, which is always dangerous– are there any other things that all moms have? That are go-tos? That make us all weirdly, freakishly alike?
The answer is YES. OH MY GRODY CARDIGAN, YES! FIVE things, in fact. Actually, probably more than that, but who has times for long lists?
1. THE CARDIGAN. Or sweatshirt. Or hoodie. It’s there, it’s comfy, it’s kinda funky, but it’s yours.
2. THE SHOES. They might be crusty old flip flops. They might be worn down flats, or a pair of off-smelling, yet oddly comfortable boots. They’re the ones you slide on along with the trusted cardigan. They’re also the ones the kids end up shoving on their stinky feet when you
force ask them to help bring in the groceries.
3. THE HIDING SPOT. Don’t pretend you don’t know it by heart. The one place in the house that either takes the longest for your kids to figure out where you are, or the one that is the best at drowning them out. Mine’s the upstairs bathroom. If only it had a fart fan to REALLY drown out their screaming.
4. THE HIDING SPOT. No, I’m not repeating myself. I haven’t gone THAT crazy. I mean the hiding spot for the things we don’t want the kids, or the husbands to find. The ONE place we know we can put the good chocolate, the good snacks, the special ice cream, without anyone ever finding it. Box of tampons? Suitcase in the back of the closet? Place where you used to hide Christmas presents but the kids know about so you found a new place so you hide the chocolate in the old place because who’s EVER going to check there? Honestly, I better stop before I give all of our secrets away.
5. THE FAVORITE. I see you shaking your head, liar! We ALL have a favorite child. ALL OF US. Mine changes by the hour, or by who flushed their mega-turd after using the bathroom, or who didn’t put an empty cereal box back in the fucking pantry, or who sleeps in later- but I always have a favorite. NO SHAME.
May your LulaRoe catch on fire if you deny any of the above!
If you’ve been following any of my social media networks, or even just checking in on this blog from time to time, you’ll know that over the last weekend I attended my first Mom Conference– The WOW Summit Green Moms Meet in Washington DC.
Not gonna lie- I was afraid. This wasn’t just a conference that talked about blogging, or parenting, it was one that focused on the living healthy side of life–for you, for your kids, even for your animals. Was I going to be walking into a conference full of crunchy moms who look down on me because the last crunchy thing I had was a taco from Taco Bell? It’s not that I don’t do my best to feed my kids healthy foods, and use healthy products around them– my life just doesn’t revolve around it. I land somewhere in between crunchy and slacker. A little closer to slacker most days.
I have to say, and I don’t say this often, I was wrong. The conference was a LOT of fun. From the moment I walked up to the registration table, the atmosphere was warm and inviting. It’s a smaller conference, so it wasn’t completely overwhelming and I never felt lost in the mix, I learned way more than I thought I would, and I made connections I never would have been able to otherwise.
A photo posted by Jenny Schoberl (@holdinholden) on
I got to meet and try a lot of products from some awesome brands (and I do mean a LOT–so many I can’t possibly plop them all in one blog), and I want to share a few of my favorites with you (because whenever I find something I really love, I have to share. SHARING IS CARING! Ya never know, I may have some giveaways of these products coming soon)
With two little boys, one husband, two dogs, and a bunny, I’m forever looking for ways to get rid of the funk in my house. A certain famous spray doesn’t quite do the trick for me, but I can’t say enough good things about Fresh Wave. Their products are only made with natural ingredients (no harsh chemicals or synthetic fragrances, alcohol, or Phthalate). Fresh Wave is made with plant extracts & water and lets science do the work to remove odors- and lemme tell you, my living room is smelling preeeeeeeetty fresh. They have sprays, smelly goods for stinky shoes, even shampoo for your pets! SO GOOD.
Not gonna lie, I had trouble even getting a photo of these because my family has literally inhaled every sample I brought home like the endless chasms they are.
A lot of times, when something is healthy, or “better for you”- it tastes like cardboard. Not the case here. These are straight up delicious (and they come in a ton of flavors, and made from black beans & snap peas). The little bag is only 90 calories. 50% less fat than potato chips, and 3g of fiber. Plus, they’re GMO & gluten free.
OHSO Good Chocolate by Solgar
Wait for it…. It’s OHSO GOOD, in more than one way! Not only is it delicious dark Belgian chocolate, but it’s jam packed with about 1 billion probiotics PER bar, and each bar is only 70 calories. BAM. GET SOME! (Also, it delivers live bacteria 3x more effectively than dairy products)
Mrs. Thinster’s Cookie Thins
If you’re gonna give your kids a treat, why not make it a BETTER CHOICE? Mrs. Thinster’s definitely fits that bill. (And I was heartbroken I didn’t act quickly enough to bring the Pumpkin Spice cookies home with me!)
No artificial Flavors, colors, or preservatives, peanut allergen friendly, non-GMO & no corn syrup. 80 calories per bag, and SO yummy!
I live in the south. Mosquitoes love me. The feeling is NOT mutual. BugBands seems pretty awesome, though I haven’t gotten the chance to really put them to the test yet (colder weather = fewer skeeters). They use naturally derived Geraniol to keep mosquitoes, flies, gnats, no-see-ums & fleas away. You can get one of their wrist bands (awesome) or this quiet diffuser (which, oddly, smells really nice!)– comes with 3 refill cartridges, each of which lasts for 120 hours. I love the summer, and being outside, so I can’t wait to be out there without getting chewed up!
They love books, they love reading, they love facts (because they’re know it alls, but there’s really nothing wrong with that) ant Nat Geo forever has something new & interesting for them to read.
Look, freebies aside, there are plenty of other reasons to attend next year’s WOW Summit. I don’t find it easy to make mom friends, and I networking isn’t something I’m fantastic at, and this convention provided me with easy opportunities to do both. It also really taught me to value myself, and my blog, and that there’s nothing wrong with talking yourself up (in parenthood and in business). That’s pretty invaluable, if you ask me. Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the fun raffle contests, the comedy & cocktails night with Julia Scotti from America’s Got Talent. Just an all around great time. GO! Do it! You won’t regret it!
A photo posted by Jenny Schoberl (@holdinholden) on
I just spent Friday and Saturday with a large group of women learning more about healthy living and eating for our families. Most of them were far more knowledgeable than me–grilling companies on how much added sugar content was in their products and listing off all kinds of ingredients I’ve never even heard of. I’m not going to pretend to be an expert. VEGETABLES, GOOD! EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP! Yeah, my knowledge is pretty basic, so I wasn’t sure I had much to offer in the way of healthy living advice, but what I did have stuffed in my bag of tricks (a.k.a my purse) was something pretty fabulous, indeed. RICOLA! And let me tell you, even if you’re away from the kids, surrounded by some of the healthiest women you’ve ever met– there are still germs in abundance floating around!
I wasn’t at the conference as a vendor, but I definitely passed out a LOT of Ricola, saying “You have to try these! Immunity boosters! ALL NATURAL!”
Truth be told- the past few months have been pretty rough on me. From illness to injury, it seems like there’s always SOMETHING wrong, and it’s thrown me seriously off my health game. When it comes to putting things in my body, when I’m already feeling lousy, I want to make sure it’s not only beneficial, but natural- and that’s why I truly trust Ricola’s products for me and for my family.
Vitamin C is incredibly important to keeping a healthy immune system- something I’m obviously struggling with. You need vitamin C for the growth and repair of tissues in all parts of your body. It helps the body make collagen, an important protein used to make skin, cartilage, tendons, ligaments, and blood vessels. Vitamin C is needed for healing wounds, and for repairing and maintaining bones and teeth. I knew about it before, but I learned ALL about its vital importance over the weekend, so I’m even more determined to boost it in my system with the help of diet and Ricola. Their new Immunity Drops have 50% of your daily value per drop (the recommended amount to takefor adults and children 4 and up are 4 drops per day for 7 days for maximum potency- which you won’t mind since they’re so friggin’ delicious). They also contain Vitamins B6, B12, and Ginseng.
Ricola Herbal Immunity Lozenges contain no artificial flavors or colors and are free of genetically modified ingredients– something the moms I met this weekend were thrilled to know.
I’m sharing #Ricola in my life as part of a Ricola sponsored series for Socialstars™
You're not done when you're full. You're done when you've crammed every last one in your face and you want to die. pic.twitter.com/4vZVxXR56k
How to tell a regular cold from a man cold? I GOT YOU COVERED! holdinholden.com/2016/10/how-…
How to tell if your kid has gone from just sick to full-on Man Cold goo.gl/fb/ks5op1
"It's Friday & you know what that means!" Yeah.. it means I'm gonna be doing laundry. My kids are gonna be up at 7. Who do you think I am?
Me to 9 yo: You're a poop. 9yo: Well then you are too, since you made me Me: Why you little... 9yo: *drops mic*